Ahh..another weekend has passed.
Practically didn't get involved anything concerning my studies except stinking S&W (Had to have a stupid attachment when I needed MORE SLEEP) and CATS (Mrs Mak would skin me alive if I didn't do anything) LOL
Hoho..have I really stopped thinking about affairs of the heart this time? It seemed to be awfully easy..apart from all that thinking and controlling on the trip from Dover - Yishun on Sat...
I don't know what to think about it all any longer.
Maybe it was wrong to talk to some people about it? Comments are of course mixed..I knew it from the start. However, am not vexed bout what people say tell me from their observations..but rather your actions and how you treat me, even it all seems to improve a little by little, I guess, it wasn't really much in your eyes.
Having said all this, I will still continue treating you like how I always have.
I shall keep my feelings mum and away from the light of world once again, like I have done, ever since a few months back. (Those who know about my previous case, lets say...it was just a misunderstood feeling, because it really is. She and I really couldn't connect. Period.)
This time round..let's say I am puzzled as it is. Some times I wonder if you do know or do not.
Nvm that...it will come, when it's time.
I don't know if I am making the right choice at the moment.
But I am doing what's best for my family, my friends and myself given the current situation from my view point. I have to be selfish for this time.
Not sure if you indeed do read my blog, and if you know about this matter, this emotional turmoil. I do hope that a clarification could come through.
I may sound sterned, I may sound frustrated, I may just sound like some guy complaining bout the affairs of his heart. But this time, I do know I have done nothing wrong. And we simply are strangers when we meet each other.
Whatever happens, how ever you may feel after reading this.
I hope you know that I hold you dearly in my heart.
It will come when it's time. Keeping mum about it just means I don't want to risk everything we have built up. You're someone I don't wish to see, fade away with time.
Though the times we share are slowly becoming...normal. I will cherish them all, as I always have.
.....all it took was for a crush, to spark these feelings to surface.
These that lay deep down ever since Day 1. These that I promised to not let out in my first year of poly. Alas, they're real, they're true. But they will still be untold to you. Sorry, I daren't gamble, not on this friendship.